MSSP_TamicaTanksley_Pt1

Michael Schweisheimer: [00:00:00] You good? Alright, here we go.

Speeding.

3, 2, 1. It's time for the Mission Story Slam podcast, brought to you by PWP Video. I'm Michael, the executive producer at PWP Video Mission Story Slam. And according to the New York Times. I am a genius and frequently a queen bee. Personally, I would've made genius the harder rank to achieve than Queen Bee, but whatever, go for it.

New York Times either term definitely applies to today's guest. Tamika Tanksley could easily be described as either a genius or a queen bee. She is certainly a busy bee when Tamika isn't at her full-time job as program director for Compass Pro Bono with Philadelphia, you can find her hosting her radio show on montco Radio two Sips of Tea, or the podcast of the same name, or you can find her with an unbroken winning streak at story slams [00:01:00] around the region.

Her fourth and most recent win. That I'm aware of was hogging all the prizes at Mission Story Slam 13 braver Today. She took home both the judges award and crowd favorite. So before we welcome Tamika, let's listen to her masterclass story. I have never, ever, never did I ever, never ever did I say never ever wanna go kayaking on the school Kill River.

And then I met Debbie. A volunteer consultant with Compass Pro Bono, where I serve as program director. So Debbie is a hot cup of coffee, percolating sparkles and rainbows. She has the energy of a cheerleader, the passion of a player, and the wisdom of a coach. So about a year and a half ago. Debbie is the project [00:02:00] director for School Hill River Greenways.

You see where I'm going with it? So as she's describing the bond that everyone had over burgers and brews, I couldn't help but feeling that I had missed out on something amazing. So I said, Debbie, the next time y'all get together, I want, she said, great. We going kayaking.

Now because Debbie also has this great ability to make, even the press of a mammogram machine sound like a fun affair. I said, I'm in.

So the date came and it was set for May, right? It was a week before my 51st birthday. I said, perfect. Because for my 50th birthday, right, [00:03:00] I decided that I was going to be living my life like this. Golden, okay? And so as a result, I gifted myself for my ish fierce and fabulous era. The permission to color outside the lines, right, to break up with the discomforts of the comfort zone, and to parole myself.

From the circle of safety right now. See, y'all look like a supportive group. Can I be vulnerable?

So growing up, fear was my tutor that taught me to, ah, don't do that. Don't take that risk, right? Don't you dare rock or get out that boat. Get rid of that vision. Don't do that job. Kill your dream, [00:04:00] right? Be safe. Be small. Think small. Live small. 'cause then you won't get hurt. And so I grew up right? I was raised to survive.

Right. I was raised in survival mode and not because my parents didn't love me enough to teach me how to fly, but because their wings got clipped as Southerners who were raised to learn that in the South, they were taught from slavery to Jim Crow. You stay silent, you stay safe, you stay alive. But after half a century of surviving.

I think it's time for your girl to start thriving. Hey, where's my 50 ish fierce and fabulous crew in the house? Make some noise, men. Y'all too. Y'all ain't got to act like it ain't y'all. Y'all too.[00:05:00]

So, so now the time comes, right? So here we go. Is the date. To go and do this whole kayaking thing. So the meetup time was five 30 for a 45 minute ride, but I ain't get in my car until five 15

because I had believers remorse and I ain't wanna go no more. Right. But there I am on 4 76 and see you don't wanna be in the car with me when I'm on the blue route 'cause I see red. Now, first of all, it is either a parking lot or you got people speeding, zigzagging, cutting you off, dodging in and outta the lane with no signal.

Usually with a jersey plate.

I do like not pumping my own gas. But anyway, so, but I was driving, boom, nine and three, going the speed limit. I ain't even cussed that day. [00:06:00] Because I decided if I was late, that was fate, and if they was gone, that was God and I wasn't gonna mess with that. So when I finally arrived, hi Tamika, there's Debbie.

Bye. The kayaks bursting in joy. So we go over to the instructor. So they say, can you swim? I said, yes. With a pool noodle in a pool where I can see my feet. He said, don't worry about it. We got your back. Just tighten up the life vest. So honey, I tighten that life vest up to where it looked like a corset from the 18 hundreds.

I'm ready.

So we go down to the water. He talking about take your shoes off. What? Oh, I ain't know you had to do, uh, come on now. I didn't know. So I took, take my shoes off. So then they're holding the kayak steady. But then by the time I get in it now, it was [00:07:00] webbing and wobbling. And I know they said Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down.

But ain't nobody say nothing about falling that. So I'm like, oh, wait a minute. Hold on. Hey, uh oh, wait, Uhuh, I can't do this. Wait a minute. And I know what they thinking. Who?

So I get it. I settled myself, right? So I get in. So then they push me out two feet later, get stuck on the rock. Hey, ah, wait a minute, Uhuh, I can't do this. Hold on. So bless they heart. So they get out of their kayak. So then they come and push me some more. Now we out deep, right? I'm panicking. But then somebody said, so for the next two hours.

Two hours? Uh uh. No, no, Uhuh. I'm going back. But see they wasn't playing that game with me 'cause it was no going back. See? But usually that's when I tap out, right? When I get terrified, I tap out. But it was no tapping out. I had to literally go with the flow. 'cause again, they all thinking who or her and Debbie never spoke up for me.[00:08:00]

So my or is going every with your way, but in the water. So. I'm panicking. I can't wait a minute. Hold on. Ah. But bless they heart. They never left my side. So then the instructor, he looks me in the eyes and I know what he thinking. Who? Boy her again. Debbie never spoke up. So he looks me in the eye, bless his heart.

And he goes, dig deep and pull. Dig deep and pull. Okay. Dig deep and pull. Dig deep and pull. And once I stopped panicking long enough to find my peace, something magical happened. I found my breath and my rhythm found me right? Hey, right. And then I say, I felt calm, confident, and courageous. Yes. So now I go from the [00:09:00] back of the line.

I'm no longer playing bumper kayaks bumping into everybody. Right, the ducks, I'm avoiding them. 'cause at first, me and them ducks, honey, it was a photo finish. It was about to be a crash and burn. We was about to be black on back on the blue roof. So now I'm in the front and then guess what? The two hours is over.

I'm like, what? I could go another two hours. So then they said, listen, you gotta throw yourself out of the kayak onto the dock. I said, say what now? You mean ain't no little ladder thing that I could climb up? So. I had to throw myself out of the kayak looking like a beach seal. He said it wasn't pretty. I said, but he didn't say it was downright ugly.

I mean, oh God, thank God nobody was recording because I wanted to go viral, but not that way.

So I realized at that moment, right, this was bigger than kayaking. Right. This was an [00:10:00] adventure. This was an opportunity for me to walk by faith and not by fright. I realized something on the school kill that day. Dig deep and pull, oh, that's a life skill, right? You gotta dig deep and pull. 'cause honey, this life, I don't know if y'all know this, there's a lot going on.

You gotta ground yourself. You gotta dig deep and pull, right? And so. I realized that this was an opportunity for me to get the mud off my wings and fly like the eagle. I am. Go back.

I love it. Tamika Tanksley, welcome to the podcast. Thank you, Michael. I am just so honored to be here today. Um, this is an audio only podcast of people, uh, who don't go to YouTube and actually watch your story. Won't see this, but what is up with the cigarette flick maneuver at the end of your storytelling.

'cause [00:11:00] honestly, um, when I was in the room with you, I'd seen you for the first time. Add a story slam from First Person Arts where the theme was lit. And I told a story about when I was a smoker, and I actually thought maybe when you did that cigarette flick at the end that you were doing some kind of a nod to me, but then I was watching other stories, and you do that at the end of other story slams.

So what's up? So I'm a drama queen, right? Queen tea. And, um, I'm the youngest of four girls and so my sisters are 12, 14, and 16 years older than me. So they introduced me to a lot of wonderful things, including old movies. Uh, and so those classics, and so I grew up watching, my first one was mild drip pierce.

So I grew up watching the queens of the drama Queens, Mildred Pierce, Betty Davis, those, you know, uh, newer type movies. Yeah. And they, when they were getting down to it. [00:12:00] Darling, whether they were straightening you out or making a point or letting you know, don't mess with me. It was always a cigarette in hand and the way they would just take that long drag.

Mm-hmm. My favorite is Betty Davis in a All about Eve. She opened up the scene with a long drag on a cigarette. As, uh, Eve was trying to take Castillo and so the cigarette thing, you know, I just kind of got that from watching the old black and whites where uh, it just had like a powerful pause, like it told a story without ever saying a word, and I feel like it's the extra, the m perfect punctuation to end.

My stories. And so I think it's gonna become a signature. And I also do like it as a clue or cue to your audience that, I mean, I like that you have a motif, but I also like it as a cue to the audience. Like, that's it. It is over. [00:13:00] That's a nice visual way to do it without having to be like, thank you. So that's cool.

I, I like it. Thank you. I'm not sure if you've been out and about telling stories since last I saw you at Mission Story Slam, but how many story slams have you told stories at at this point? So officially, so at Story Slams, I've done four and my first was December of 2023, so it's been recent. However, I've always had the desire to do a story slam.

I just didn't have the courage, or I just didn't feel, you know, I was ready or I was always kind of chicken out. So how ironic to have the Braver Today theme be that, uh, fourth, uh, story slam win in a row. Uh, and it's hard to believe like, wow, I just started this in December. And the thing is [00:14:00] I've been telling stories my entire life.

In fact, I think I came outta the wound telling stories and as I've shared, uh, believing like a post, like it is my inheritance, uh, my grandmother. Was an amazing storyteller. Her son, my father, I had 44 awesome years sitting at his feet collecting his stories, his style. My sister, uh, can captivate any room with a story.

So it is a legacy that I am just honored to carry forward and also help other people learn to amplify their voices through the gift of storytelling, because we all have a story to tell. But many of us don't tell it, so I am trying to see if my timing is right. You talked about your. Was it fabulous? 50 ish and fierce thing?

Yes. Was that was December 23? I'm not asking you. Well, no. I guess I'm asking you to tell us your age. Was that part of that [00:15:00] 50 year kind of coming out party for Tamika? You know what, now that you mention it, Michael. Yes. So I had turned 50. May of that year. And so again, you're like, oh, I'm 50 ish. Fierce and fabulous era I'm going to start doing.

And then I realized that I was still doing the things I was doing one through 49. I was still mm-hmm. Hoarding and hiding gifts and talents. I, I was still afraid to, uh, step out on faith, get out of the boat to actually do the thing. Um, I know I'm great at doing and that's not conceit, it's just confidence.

Yeah. But I still struggle with having the confidence to do the thing. And so it was a challenge to myself, like before the year is out. So when I saw the opportunity, I thought, you know what? This is absolutely perfect. I'm going to do this. Um, because that was actually for me to kick off. Of 50 ish. Fierce and fabulous, honey.[00:16:00]

I love it. And I get so, um, you and I are of a very similar age. I think I'm probably a year or two older than you. Um. But yeah, I've been enjoying my fifties. You know, I, I really enjoyed my forties and I'm like, oh, is this, this, is this the best? And then the fifties have been amazing. Some of my friends have heard me say this before, but the thing I think I realized crossing 50 is I sort of was like, oh, I think I understand what this wisdom stuff's about now.

I. It just means that I've been fucking up longer than everybody else. And now that's turned itself into wisdom. That's all it is, is for me. Yes. You know? And, um, but I hear you in terms of like coming later in life to things you've always wanted to do, like I think it's, I amazing what can happen when we can get out of our own way, get out of the way of fear or those things that have us putting off dreams.

Yes. What I learned as in 50 ish, fierce and fabulous [00:17:00] is that those are really the things that's the antidote for the toxic job. That's the antidote for the heavy things, uh, that's going on in life. And so I'm learning now to lean into not just those gifts, but also it makes me feel good and I've, and it also makes others feel good and it, and.

Storytelling. So many people come up like, oh my God, there was confirmation about this that made me think about that. And so it's such a gift that keeps on giving, you know? And it's not even mine, which is why it's a gift. It's the thing. And I always say it's like passion and purpose. The passion is the thing you love to do, and your purpose is when that thing you love to do does something for others.

And so I'm now ready to embrace. Those skills, gifts, and talents [00:18:00] because it's also a feel good place for me. And so, as you know, and as you get older, you know, not a lot gets taken off the table. Sometimes more things get added on a table. Yes. Doesn't get, doesn't get easier. Yeah. Doesn't get easier. And not just any tables like a a four-legged table with three legs and more things get added on.

And so. Those are the things, and so it's important to make time for the things that make your time feel good while you're on this earth, which comes with, I mean, you just open your eyes and you can see a lot of the different challenges. It's always something to make you feel bad, so it's important to anchor yourself with the things that not only make you feel good, but others.

That's awesome. I love it. How do you prep a story? Are you a word for word, write the whole thing out, memorize it? Is it bullet points and you know where you're going? Like how do you, how do you prepare, uh, a story? You know, that's a [00:19:00] super great question and, and. Before I answer that, one thing I learned about my style, so to speak, I call myself, I'm like, queen of comedy meets Dr.

King because I feel that, you know, I could preach you the Sermon on the Mount, but I also can tell you the funny thing that happened along the way. Um, and that's because I feel that laughter. Is medicinal. It is just such great medicine. So I love to incorporate it in anything that I do. And so interesting.

How do I prepare for a story? It has been evolving because as a writer, um, I often say that the writer in me wrestles with the speaker in me slash storyteller in me, because as I'm, you know. Thinking of the story and you know, writing it out. Um, when I write things I'm like, oh my gosh, I love that, oh [00:20:00] God, that, oh, 'cause I love words.

I love putting them together. It makes me super happy. So when I come with a one-liner and a mic drop and a zinger or something that I just love, you know, I feel like, oh my God, I love this. And so again, the writer and speaker, they start to battle because then when it's time to do the story. Early on, I felt committed to sticking to the quote script, like to mm-hmm.

Stick with how I wrote it, because I wanted to make sure I said that line, just how I wrote it, because, oh, that was amazing, but. Sometimes when you do it that way, you lose the connection with the story with the audience. And for me, sometimes it doesn't always feel as authentic because I'm so busy in my head trying to remember how I wrote it and say it just like that.

'cause I definitely don't wanna forget that mind. [00:21:00] 'cause that mind is killer. So I'm learning. Do you, do you record yourself? Do you, do you, are you writing like. Pen to paper typing, or are you, um, rehearsing in front of a microphone or phone or something like that? How are you, how are you writing? So in the beginning, um, I would just write it out, be it, I, and I love pen to paper.

I'm old school. You would think. I'm an an attorney. I love yellow illegal pads. I got a million of them, but I just bought a remarkable too, 'cause I, I can't live with all this paper anymore. I. Also because I just love hanging on to 'em. I'm like, I may need that thought. So, um, and, and at least you can search in the remarkable, I guess, right?

Writing is one of those processes, like sometimes certain types of writing, I like pen to paper. Um, sometimes I like the speed of typing and sometimes I actually like to, you know, turn on a transcription app and record. So I, I actually use different methods depending on what I'm doing and [00:22:00] how. How much writer's block I'm having?

Um, well, I'm a little bit of everything, you know, and because I'm a avid journaler, I love pen to paper. And even if I gotta scratch out and change it, even when I, uh, you know, do keynote, I'll have something written down and then I'm scratching, making a lot of edits in the moment. Um, sometimes like you, I like the type, I like the click of the keys, and then now I'm learning to use the whole dictation.

Um. Opportunities. And so recently, so last summer I had an amazing opportunity to, uh, be a part of the Black Storytelling Residency in Wilmington. And this is where storytellers gathered from all across the country. Our oldest was from, uh, California at 83. Uh, I believe the youngest was from Texas. That was my roommate.

So it started with, um, a storyteller. [00:23:00] Taira is her name, and she also works with another storyteller, Emily and Dr. Carise, um, thinkink. And so. We came with this group. And so they really take you through the whole, you know, grio and, and storytelling and the history. And one of the most impactful things that grabs me from Hello and, uh, it's sponsored by, uh, the city of Wilmington.

And, um. They read a letter from, I forget the woman's name, but she was like really behind, uh, being a great big sponsor for this amazing opportunity. We stayed for a week, all expenses paid, and Wow. One of the lines was to remember to stay present and not perfect. And that resonated with me because as a perfection queen, I realized perfection is paralysis.

So a lot of me not doing yeah, certain things and leaning to the in my gifts is [00:24:00] because, you know, I feel like it's not good enough. And if you're looking for perfection, it'll never be good enough. And so the other thing I learned was to record yourself and to just kind of say it over and over again. And they taught us that.

You may never tell the same story the same way twice, and as you don't. You're not encouraged to really write it all down word for word, but you're more encouraged just to speak it and talk it and record yourself. But, um, I have since been adopting the, just kind of writing things out and then just saying it over and over again and being present.

Because I mean, the thought came from my head in the first place when I wrote it. Mm-hmm. And so it'll come up. And so I really love that way more. It helps me to stay connected. Um, I have been telling and been invited rather, to tell my, um, mission story slam 13 when several times since [00:25:00] winning in November.

And Cool. I have not told it the same way, uh, twice. And so I'm really, and then I've learned to adapt it. 'cause I feel like it's a universal story for some things. I told it at a women's group. Uh, and so I feel like it's a universal story to dig deep and pull is what is really universal about it. Yeah. And I've been able to adapt it according to my audience.

And so, yes, to answer the question I have transitioned. And have evolved and, um, and do a little bit of everything now. So it's a little bit of writing it down, a little bit of outlining, and then what really gets it committed to the heart, because I love speaking from the heart. I, I always say people talk from the head, they tell you what they think you wanna hear, but when you speak from the heart, you tell people what they need to feel.

And I love speaking from the heart. So for me to say it over and over again, I'm really enjoying that because it helps me to get [00:26:00] it, not committed to memory, but committed to the heart so it can come out heartfelt and you know, and touch people in the heart. And so that's my recommendation, um, for people.

If I had to give a, a number one tip, it would be to continue to just say it over and over again and get it committed to heart and not memory. I do think there were a couple lines that you knew by heart, but for, hold on one second. I just need to back up. 'cause what you just said was, when you speak from the heart, you tell people what they need to feel.

To me, I would interpret that as like, you're just letting them feel that by demonstrating, you're just leading with feeling, by being present and being in the moment and being extemporaneous from your heart, even if it is a planned line. Um, so that, and that is one of my favorite storytelling quotes by the way, is that whole idea of.

Trusting our audience that they will have the emotional reaction [00:27:00] that we intend if we allow them the space to do that. Totally. And I do. So I want to get to a couple of these lines, but I do feel like the way that you structure, 'cause you've got like definite jokes or I know like, uh, man, before the story slam af, I'd invited you and you were like, so I, I think I've got my story and I think it starts out.

Never have I ever, never did I ever, I, for, you know, the exact opening line, but you knew it. And that's maybe not exactly the way the story opened, but it is pretty close to how the story opened. I mean, I do not think that lines like, hang on, I actually set this one down 'cause I wanna say it. So break up with the discomforts of the comfort zone and to parole myself from the circle of safety.

I do not think that that is an improvised line. No. So when I say, like, saying it over again. And so a lot of these are things. I've said for a very long time. Mm-hmm. Just not publicly, um, because again, I'm a, I'm a lover of words. I'm a wordsmith and I've been telling [00:28:00] stories, um, my whole life, just not publicly.

Yeah. So while it may not be improvised, it's something that has been committed to heart and not memory. And, um, and then yes, some. As I think of the story as a whole, as it comes from a real place, um, how I wanna tell it. Um, you know, and I love metaphors. I love alliteration. You know, I'm the metaphor queen, and I'm often.

People often say to me, like how I can explain things that make it real and realistic and feel and touch. And so that's just a part of kind of how I speak. I speak in stories often, and so it's just kind of like how I speak. And so as I kind, um, pull the real life event into a story, um, it's like, how does, how can I say this to help people visualize what I'm saying?[00:29:00]

Um, and so that's how those words kind of come together. So yes, much of it, um, is not improvised per se. Um, it's been said somewhere along the line in my life. Breaking up with the discomforts of the comfort zone is a great line. And it's, it is, it has a rhythm. But I love the fact that you come to the stage with a map and you, um.

It's like great improvised movies, right? Like every scene has a, a thing that has to happen in the beginning and a thing that has to happen in the end and in between. Who the hell knows what's gonna go on? And I think you're a little more planful than that, but the idea that you've got these stops along the way where you want, you know, you wanna open with the, never ever, never did I ever type of start, you know, you wanna get to breaking up this comforts of the comfort zone.

Like you've got these road signs and. I like, you know, we've all, I've been on stage and I've like forgotten one of my road [00:30:00] signs and I'm fine. Like I can still get where it is and I'm trying to go, 'cause I at least know the route. I at least know the map. So even if I take a turn late, I can still get there and, uh, hopefully deliver a story.

But you, uh. You do do it on a, on a, it is clear that it is, uh, in your blood, in your bones, in your fabric of being the moment you're on that stage. Thank you. And you know what, with storytelling, it's also about that great opening. It's like when you're writing, it's the same thing. You wanna get a good opening to catch the listeners.

Um, it's a good middle to keep 'em there. And then you wanna boom. Uh, leave them at the end with something to think about. And so that also, again, as a writer, and my major in college was a journalism and public relations. So, uh, as a writer, those are the things that you learn. And so writing is really, uh, you know, storytelling, like it's a form of storytelling.

Sure. And so [00:31:00] all of that, all of those kind of skill sets just come together and also. Again, as I mentioned, like with the bloodline, so my, you know, my family, my father, um, and sister, super funny. Um, I am not surprised doing impersonations and like, so I grew up with this unique, um, storytelling. There are times when in some of my stories, like with the Grand Slam, when, um, I will incorporate.

Some lines from my sister. Um, oh, I love that in honor. So I ended my grand slam win, which was about Tony Baloney. Um, that's right. And uh, I said the more of the story is no matter how many numbers you slap on a jack as. He'll never be a racehorse. And that my sister, I mean, decades ago, I remember [00:32:00] her saying that and I just thought it was so funny and she probably was, I probably heard her say it.

At a age when I probably shouldn't have heard her say it. Yeah. I mean, jackass isn't that bad, but come on. But it's fuck with me. And even then I'm like, oh, that's funny. And so, and, and, and to pay homage to the great storyteller that I sat under. Um, you know. That's awesome. Incorporate those things. Look at you with this, with the, your cigarette motif, you're bringing your sister in to wrap up stories.

Yes. As funny as your story was and it was consistently funny. Um, and it definitely had that, that lesson woven in it. I also liked how you, um, you kind of snuck in a really direct and very clear history lesson into that narrative and 'cause it was so first person, um, you know, you could alm. I actually did, I think that I kind of did miss it.

It was only on repeated viewings when I caught the part about being [00:33:00] raised in survival mode. And, um, because your parents, that actually brought up some stuff in here, I. Written this quote down about them teaching you how to fly and wings getting clipped. Um, but you brought in that part about them being southerners that raised learning in the south, that they were taught from slavery to Jim Crow.

You stay silent, you stay safe, you stay alive. And I just, I had to call out that like I love that. You owned your intergenerational history, put it in your story and snuck it in. Not snuck, but like, put it in there, very clear and very direct. And use that as one of those moments where you weren't asking the audience to scream or you weren't asking the audience to, um, repeat, you know, dig deep and pull, and you just let that stand there and teach us something and teach us something about you and your, your family and your history.

And I just, I thought that was, um, a really great choice. Thank you, Michael. And you know, and it was really important for me to share [00:34:00] that because with the help of my amazing therapist, you know, it's a thing that I've really been exploring as I want to step out of the boat and take the leap of faith and, and really lean and lead with these gifts and talents.

I. Real. I, you know, I'm like, how come I, you know, why am, am I afraid to launch, to leap, to go? And that's 'cause of the ducks. Let's face it. Yes. Sorry, I didn't, you know what? I interrupted a serious thing with a duck joke. That's terrible. No, but I told you laughter is medicinal. So I'm always a welcoming for a laugh.

But I realized that, you know. Some people, you know, you're raised to go for it and to take the risk and you know, and it's a lot of people who are totally unqualified, who are in positions, [00:35:00] um Oh yeah. With the arrogance and, and of. You know, feeling that they really belong in a place they don't because they have the confidence, right?

The confidence of do not name any names. This is not a good time to name names. I'm just gonna put that out there. And the sad part is, but we all know those people. It's all kind of people. We can listen from little people to big people. Um, and so. I wasn't given that. And, and, and I, and again, and just exploring my own life and history and my parents and trying to understand them and, you know, and just leaning and leading with Grace.

Um, that's been like a really. Theme of mine, uh, lately. And so in doing this, just introspection right of my life, my family's life, our history, how come? Because we're all like super gifted, but we were always like this best [00:36:00] kept secret because our parents, again, when you're raised to just be safe and, and just, you know.

Dream for them. Like my father was an amazing athlete in boxing, uh, football and baseball. Wow. Okay. But my mother, she was a, you know, a nurse, but she resigned from that to, um, be a teacher's aid so she can be home when her children were home. And so what I learned from my parents were, your dreams were not pursued.

They were sacrificed. And it was always about getting a job with the pension. It was just that survival. You just wanna take care of yourself. And when you are raised with struggle and when you are raised to, you know, make a dollar outta 15 cents, get blood from a stone, you don't wanna take the risk.

'cause it seems too risky. You don't wanna risk losing it all because it took you too long and too hard to [00:37:00] get the little you have. Right. And so. With that mindset and being raised by people who were not, again, given the permission to fly, given the wings, um, to soar, it jumped on me. And so I was afraid to take the risk because I was raised by people who weren't taught.

To take the leap. They were taught to stand on the shore. Like I said, with the, you'll never explore the ocean if you're afraid of losing sight of the shore. That legacy, that history, um, you know, and there's some people who believe the opposite. I say, you either teach what you know or what you wish you knew, and it takes a lot of strength to swim upstream.

With the theme and go against the grain of what you learned, what you were taught, and what you experienced. And so that was super [00:38:00] important for me. That line was deep because that's also a part of my history, a part of my legacy, that's a part of who I am. Um, but I'm adopting another phrase is that is never too late to be great because when you know better, you do better.

And so I'm learning that, um. It is okay to take a leap of faith. It's so, and, and at the risk of actually living the dream. Um, and I love it. So I now look back with, um, you know, compassion. For my parents, and particularly when I think of my father, who, again, just a diamond en crusted unicorn. He was amazing, loving, caring.

I mean, he was the father of four girls, married to my mother for 62 years, and we're all, you know, drama Queen Queens. Yeah. You

do

Michael Schweisheimer: not sound like small personalities in the tangly household at [00:39:00] all. Exactly. No matter how risk averse you might be, I think there's a lot of, a lot going on at that dinner table without question.

Yes. And he made us all feel like the favorite. Um, he never, not one time was like angry, just shut up. And I know he wanted to say, right, because we always had something to say and I realized that. You know, it, that was that. I just wish, because he was just such an amazing person. Um, and he had a lot of even business opportunities to do some great things, um, but he was just too afraid to take the risk.

Um, and you know, then that just kind of breaks my heart. I'm, I'm glad you're out here taking some risk. Yes. And I think that's another way to honor legacy, the way you work that history into your story and then the conversation that we're having. It's like, it's both one of [00:40:00] the best explanations or examples of how to explain what intergenerational trauma could look like if you wanted to break it down that way.

Yes. Um, but I think it also. It says a tremendous amount that you've been, you know, and by the way, shout out to therapists like we, you know,

yes.

Michael Schweisheimer: They're, they are a, uh, a support and a tool for us to find a way to try to undo some of those things that are really tough to undo. And, you know, never too late to, what'd you say?

Never too late to It is never too late to be great. Never too late to be great. There it is. Never too late to be great. Love it. Um, but yeah, we gotta do the work and we gotta figure it out and we gotta. You know, try to figure out what it is that could be our own thing or from generations before that's getting in our way.

Yes. Introspection is super important because it's very hard, right? I say hindsight is 2020, but it's also a painful lens. And so I realized that I wanna not only [00:41:00] learn from history, but to improve future history. So the conversation with Tamika was really too cool to just have it be a single episode. So we're gonna wind down.

And make this a two-parter in the second part. There's a few things to look forward to. I start out by giving Tamika a very good grilling, teasing ribbing, whatever you wanna call it about just blasting over the mission story Slam time limit. Tamika's gonna tell us about how she uses storytelling in her professional life and how she empowers her clients through storytelling.

And we also discuss what's unique about Mission Story Slam and the importance of supporting and platforming. The Do-Gooder community and you just by listening, are a part of that Do-Gooder community. We are trying to support with Mission Story Slam, but real communities thrive when they take care of each other.

And we need you dear Missionaries to do the supportive things so you know it's the old stuff, the rate and review the podcast direct people to our website, mission story slam.org. You can also have people follow us on LinkedIn [00:42:00] or Instagram. I know you have someone in your life who would also enjoy what we're doing with Mission Story Slam, so please spread the word.

And soon we'll have some details about our next story Slam for the spring mission story slam 14th. We're not certain on the date quite yet. We're looking at May 19th or 26th. If you feel dedicated enough to hold time in your calendar. And we're also working on our theme so far. We're thinking that we might go with anniversaries, with the caveat that anything goes that is not about the semi quincentennial.

So save us from ourselves. Reach out with a theme idea that you have. You can email us at info@pwpvideo.com. The Mission Story Slam podcast is produced by Dave Winston, and this episode was edited by Chris Marc. Pod is produced and brought to you by PWP Video. We are Video with a Mission. You can find us@pwpvideo.com.

So until our next episode, I will continue to be Michael Schweitzer and I really look forward to sharing [00:43:00] the next story behind the story with you soon.