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It is once again time for the Mission Story Slam podcast brought to you by PWP Video. I'm Michael Schweissheimer. I'm the executive producer at PWP Video, Mission Story Slam, and I'm someone who loves to be in a room where I am the outsider. Comfort zone, schmumpert zone. One place where I'm never an outsider is at Mission Story Slam itself.

Our 12th edition is officially scheduled for Tuesday evening, June 10th, back at National Mechanics. Since 12 is the number at the top of the clock, the theme will be The Time Is Now. You know what else it's time for? It's time for a new lead sponsor. If you're interested in reaching our audience of engaged and inspiring Philadelphians, let us know.

I think the easiest way, you can reach out to me or you can drop an email to info at pwpvideo. com. And now is the time to introduce today's guest. So I first met Eric Marsh at the very end of the night at the very first Sunday Breakfast Club event I ever attended. Dave Winston, Eric, and myself were the last to leave after David told a killer story at one of Chris DiTullo's story slams.

I wonder where he got the idea to hold story slams at Sunday Breakfast Club. I'll have to ask him. It was one of those quick chats, handing off a business card, and then after some email back and forth, I found us sitting together having some hard ciders over at Young American here in Germantown for a nice little happy hour.

And the amazing thing, I actually had to look it up to remember, but this was just a year and a half ago in the middle of 2023, and Eric has become a fast friend. It just feels like I have known him significantly longer than that. We are very simpatico. We're both old enough to have a lot in common, but young enough to still be excited all the time about meeting new people and learning new things every single day.

So until really recently, Eric was the Manager of Community Engagement for WHYY, but that changed when he started a new role at the beginning of this week. I'll let Eric do his own review. With being fast friends, it was not long before we were attending each other's events. And I was showing up at his bridging block happenings.

Someday I'll tell you the story about me being one of the only non mummers at the Mummers Museum. That was, that was fun. Eric came to our second Mission Story Salon Dinner that we had with David Thornburg. And then, I even roped him into being a judge at Mission Story Slam 9. But I wasn't done. So when Holiday Travel Illness has wiped out multiple storytellers at Mission Story Slam 11, I turned to Eric and pleaded with my new friend to please add your name to the coffee can of destiny.

And he was a suck. I mean, he did. And that is the odyssey that leads me to officially welcoming Eric Marsh to the Mission StorySlam podcast. Woohoo! There you go. Welcome. Glad we're here. That was an adventure itself. Well, it's a story podcast. Everything's a story.

My

friend, and you are a storyteller. Nice to meet you.

Great to be here. Yeah. I'm really glad. So, so do me a favor. Today was what? It's a Wednesday, so we're day three on the new gig. Tell us about the, the new job and how it's going. Ah,

yes. Jump right in. The new gig. So I am incredibly honored and humbled to have been selected as the new director of operations for the Philadelphia Center for Gun Violence Reporting.

So the center has been around a little over five years now, headed by Jim McMillan, former um, journalist. Who saw the harm that journalism was causing people who had been impacted by gun violence with the way that reporters were reporting on gun violence in communities all across the country. And so he actually was one of those reporters having jumped into the middle communities during a tragedy to be able to extract stories and just to go back and try to beat a deadline.

And so. Thankfully, he's decided to create the center and it has expanded greatly under his leadership and I've been brought on as director of operations to help them expand even further. So yeah, it's very exciting.

Inherently, I get what you're saying in terms of that reporters on a deadline can take a gun violence tragedy and have to turn it into a story quickly.

We've all heard the, if it bleeds, it leads, Maxim, I guess, from what's hopefully more dated journalism. But like, help me understand a little bit about how. The center is seeing the reporting creating additional trauma. Are you wrapping your head around that already, day three?

Yeah, well, a little bit, a little bit, but more specifically, I can actually speak from the perspective of a community member who has been harmed by reporting.

Unfortunately, you know, I'm a two time Co victim, co survivor of gun violence. I've lost two family members decades apart to gun violence. And the first incident was when I was a teenager. I was in my late teens and, um, my cousin Antoine Nelson had been coming to stay with me off and on. And we had spent.

And evening up playing video games as teenagers do. And he had made up his mind that, you know what, I'm going to come live with you because at the time he lived in North Philadelphia near seventh Jefferson. He knew that that environment wasn't a good environment for him to be able to have a future, to be able to.

Stay out of trouble. Um, and so he left my house one morning after spending the night. He was gonna go home, talk to his mom, get his clothes, and unfortunately never made it home. And the way that the story unfolded was that there was a news report either that night or the next day about a young man who was named in the news article having been murdered under a bridge near Allegheny Avenue early in the morning.

We saw the story, many people around the city saw the story, and yet we didn't know where my cousin was, right, but because the story actually named an individual, there was nothing to think about. It wasn't until a day or two later, that young man who was named in the story showed up at his parents home.

And while the news Was quick to report on the wonderful story and a wonderful happening of, you know, surprise. It wasn't him he's home. He's safe. They did not do a story on my cousin. And matter of fact, I think I'm not even sure if they named him. In the story. And if they did, it was just a passing thing.

Like, oops, it wasn't this guy. It was this guy with my family, having to find out what was going on, having seen that story and having seen the cameras show up on the scene and the chalk outline and all of that, but not thinking twice that it was actually our family member that that's another type of like.

trauma that our family experienced outside of just having lost my cousin to gun violence. So that's the kind of thing that the Philadelphia Center for Gun Violence Reporting is really working to change. And there's different nuances and different versions of that story that a lot of people have shared.

So that's what we do. We really want journalists to become more empathetic. In the ways that they cover community members that have been impacted by violence, whether they're survivors of the victim, whether it's talking about the victim, or even when they're talking about the perpetrator, there's a way to do it that centers humanity.

And so I'm just honored that I get a chance to work with this amazing team and help them perpetuate and grow in scaled up work that they've already been doing.

Those stories are powerful, and that work is important. I'm really glad you get to be a part of it as well. Yeah, thank you with your really strong skill set at building community, particularly experienced doing that with journalists, which I think they are their own special breed.

Um, I've known a few and I've known some recovering ones as well, but yeah, I think maybe that is also one of the things that you and I have certainly. Been able to bond over as well as the fact that we both are invested in building community. So it's been really great. I talked about suckering you into telling a story, which I did, but I really do appreciate how much you've jumped both feet into the Mission Story Slam community and get what it is that we're trying to do.

And it's been a good and active part of that. So yeah,

I want to just clarify, you didn't sucker me into it. It was really more of like a puppy dog pleading kind of big eyes.

I could bust him out when I have to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very

persuasive, my friend. Very much persuasive. So I

think I, I don't know that I'll play the very first line, but I think you were thanking Makers Mark at the start of your story that we have, we can thank Makers Mark.

I thank some liquid courage. That's what I did. Then, by the way, thank you for putting it in print as well.

It's in the transcript. Yes. You are now associated with Bourbon.

Yeah. So, and some

Google search or. Some large language models can be like, Oh yeah, Eric Marsh senior likes, I like some liquid courage.

I

do accept gifts and donations.

Good to know. So speaking of opening lines from your story, as you know, I do often start or at least early on play a full story from a storyteller. Sometimes I play segments. I'm not sure if you're totally aware of this, but you did claim a unique accolade. I believe at almost 17 minutes, I am fairly certain that you hold the record for the longest single story.

What?

Are you sure it's 17?

It's not 17. It is under 17. Okay. It's like 1640. I thought it was

like 1530 or something like, either way I do, I will say

it's over. It's over 15.

Let's frame it for the audience. It's. three times as long as it should have been.

Yes. That is most people go over. It's very rare.

Someone actually tells a story in five or less. I did want to start out and play a little bit of your story here. So let's, let's start out with a section about your journey as a single father.

So my story and anybody that knows me knows that family is central to everything I do. My role as a father is a core aspect.

of my self identity and my beliefs and the work that I do in the community. My work, professionally, uh, I'm a community engagement specialist. Um, I've lucked up and entered into that role, I say, because it just gets me out into community like this, meeting people like you, and getting to have a fun time.

But it all started as a result of my role as a father. Um, Many, many years ago, my son is now 29 years old. When he was about two years old, I became a single father. Um, I got custody of him one night after I got a phone call. Ms. Williams called me, it was about 7, 7. 30 at night, and the phone rang, I picked it up and he said, Mr.

Marsh? Yes. This is Ms. Williams from DHS. I'm calling you because We are over here at the house where your son is and we've been investigating the house for several weeks now and we're going to take the children out of home. So my heart is racing. I'm trying to figure out what is this about? Why, why? I just left there a few hours ago.

She said, the reason why we're calling you is because we have watched your partner's house for a few weeks and every day. You've shown up after work, you spent time with your child and his sister, and then you went and left. And so I'm giving you an opportunity to come pick up your child because they're going to go into placement if you don't.

And we don't normally do this, but because we've watched you showing up here every night, I'm giving you an opportunity. So needless to say, the phone wasn't put back on the hook. Thankfully lived only a few blocks away and I ran there and scooped up my son and his older sister at the time and brought them back to my house.

And that was the beginning of a journey that lasts me until this day. I eventually was able to go to court back in the mid 90s and I won custody of my son in front of a male judge here in the city. Um, single dad, full custody, which is something that was, at the time, exceptional. But what I quickly found out was, it was a lonely road.

Because as a man, at the time, working multiple jobs, nobody was there to support in terms of child care and resources, and I eventually wound up getting on welfare for insurance for my son and trying to figure out a way to make ends meet and build up those needs and resources. And so that took me on a journey through so many different experiences.

So I do suggest that people go ahead and find your full story on the Mission Story Slam webpage or on our YouTube channel. But suffice it to say, a lot of things happened, and we do end up several years later after you had entered the construction field and started your own construction business. So, I'm actually going to go back into the story for a minute.

I want to pick back up as you start a new chapter of your life.

I eventually married my high school sweetheart. We got together. We had two kids. Our kids are 13 months apart. You do the math. And so, after running my business for a few years, my wife lost her job, and my kids were getting a little bit older, probably around four or five years old.

And things started wearing on us. It started catching up. And so I wound up Coming home angry all the time. I was working 12 hours a day, and stress was building up, and I would come home, and they didn't eat, and there was stuff all over the place, and I'm trying to figure out how to manage all of this stuff, and I was telling my wife, I want to go to therapy, I think we should go to therapy, we got two different parenting styles, something, we need to do something.

Again, coming home, things not right, folks not eating, laundry not done, things are just in a disarray, and I'm angry. And I started realizing that as I'm raising my voice and I'm getting upset, things start getting done. But when I get home at night, nobody wants to sit down with me. Nobody wants to have dinner with dad.

On the weekends, everybody kind of disperses and go about their, their, their, their day. And I started realizing that nobody in my family wanted to be around me. Even though the household was running. In a way that we expect, we would love our households to run, there is something missing. And at the time, my oldest son, who's now 15 years old, he comes to me and says, Dad, I don't, I don't like you, and I don't want to live with you no more.

Now y'all remember how I started off this story. This is my core principle, this is my belief, this is what, this is how I, this is what drives me. So I said, well, what do you want to do? He said, I want to go live with my mom. And so he left, he went to go live with his mom for a few weeks.

Eventually, we lost our house. Five story, I mean three story five bedroom house in West Philadelphia. I had a wife, multiple children, we moved back in my childhood home, piled up into two bedrooms. That obviously compiled the stress and the trauma. And eventually, my wife left and took the kids to her mother's.

And so that left me in a deep depression for a very long time. Until I got a call one day from my ex wife. She said, I got a job, I need to drop the kids off with you every morning. So I can go to work. And at the time, my mother, who was well meaning like a lot of moms, let me stay up in my childhood room with room darkening shades and in the blinds and under the covers and she said, you'll be alright.

He just needs some time. He'll be alright. But I was in a depression. And anybody in here knows anybody that's going through depression. That can be the worst thing you do for them. Is to leave them alone. And so the day came where my wife needed to drop the kids off, and it was in the wintertime, it was 6.

30 in the morning, so I pull myself out of the bed and I go down to the bus stop and I meet my kids. And we get them off the bus and walk them back home. And we wait a little while and feed them breakfast and then I walk them to school. And this continued for a few months, a few weeks, until we got to the school building And my daughter said, Daddy, come inside.

I said, well, it's not really a policy. The school doesn't really let you inside. Alright, principal made an exception. So we go inside, and I leave him inside the lobby. And then the next week, my daughter says, Daddy, come into the lunchroom. I said, alright, I'll come in the lunchroom. Alright, fine. Now mind you, every day I'm going back home, getting in the bed, in the room, darkening shades, put my head under the cover.

And this went on for the longest time, until So, she let me into the lunchroom and I'm sitting at the table and they're playing and I'm watching the kids and it's chaos everywhere. The other dads in the room are all back to the walls. It's chaos. Kids are everywhere. Anybody, when's the last time you've been to a elementary school lunchroom, right?

You fear for your life. And so I'm sitting at the table and this little boy walks up and taps me on the shoulder and I turn around and he has a Lego Batman book. He says, can you read this to me? He's literally this big. Can you read this to me? Now how many dads in here love reading stories to their kids?

It's a thing, right? We transform when we start telling stories, which is why I love Mission Story Slam. I'm reading a book, and I'm Batman. I'm making all the voices, doing all the lines. Doesn't know any Jack Nicholson lines, but I'm telling you, I'm putting it all in there. And I'm just completely oblivious to who's around me.

And I'm reading this book and we get to the end and Batman saves the day and I turn around and there's 12 kids standing around me. Several of them with books. Can you read this to me? Can you read this? Read my book next. Read my book next. And so I share that story because that day I didn't go back home and get in the bed.

That day, I realized what my superpower was. I realized what my family needed from me. And it wasn't a stern coach. It wasn't somebody with a harsh voice to try to get the household in order. It wasn't structure. It was love. And it was time. And from that moment on, I'm proud to say that the work that I do With my organization, The Fathering Circle, is helping men to understand how we're socialized into this process of oppressing children, oppressing our partners, and oppressing each other.

Allowing that anger and those emotions to build up and actually overwhelm and run things in our household, and actually create an environment that we don't, we're not even working towards. It's counterproductive to all that we do. And so on that note, I'll, I'll just say that I'm extremely blessed. My son, um, is going to be joining me tomorrow at an awards banquet for the work that I've been doing is in my community engagement work over the last several years.

And it's all because of him, my two youngest children.

So I got to ask, I don't know if I'm sure what it was, what award were you getting after the story slam last December?

I was nominated and received a state impact award, which is something that's done annually by a publisher, city and state PA. And they have a few different categories.

And one of them was community engagement. And so, yeah, that was, it was a hoity toity night. I got a chance to. Dress up and rub elbows with the big wigs and your son came with you My son showed up a little bit after the program started, but it was it made me smile because he was coming from Handling some other like a family emergency and so originally I thought that he wasn't gonna be able to make it But he came to a really swanky event like kind of sweats and sneakers

That's cool.

Yeah, it

sounds like you have had quite a Full circle journey and your, uh, your fatherhood travels with him.

I don't know if it's a circle, but it's definitely been a meandering adventure. We're still on it. We're still on it. He's a great guy. He's 29 now, still figuring life out, but still like really just like a deeply compassionate, loving kid who's taking care of his grandmother and his uncle and his younger siblings.

And he's all over town doing stuff. So I don't know where he gets that from, but he's a great kid.

Where he gets that from. I mean, we have some guesses. Have you told a version of that story of your fatherhood journey in quite as public a place before? Or is that, was that a little bit of a new experience?

I want to say I've told bits and pieces of it in public. The work that I do with my Nonprofit, I have a nonprofit called the father of my circle. I've done a few interviews and things like that and podcasts, but I don't think I've sat down and shared every 14, 15 minutes and 40 something seconds long worth of all those nuances.

So, yeah, I also want to say that one of the reasons why I do share so openly. Is because I heard a quote one time that basically says your life story is actually someone else's road map, right? And that the things that you share, especially if you're sharing struggles and the way you've overcome, uh, an obstacle can actually prevent somebody else from even having to run into that obstacle or form like.

It really causing a lot of harm. People know how to navigate it. And that's one of the things I talk about a lot to men about why being a father is so important and so valuable is because one of the roles of being a father is to kind of lay out that roadmap, not to force your kids to take it, to at least say, Hey, listen, these are some of the lumps and bumps that I've taken in life.

Take it for what it's worth. I just want to make sure that your path is easier. And so I take that to heart when it comes to sharing my challenges. You

know, that I'm not personally a father, but I've. I've been depressed before, but it's tough. And that section of your story told again, really openly and bravely.

And I think that there's so many different arcs in your story and so many different moments. And, but yeah, that one really stuck with me and the way that you described that with like the dark curtains and stuff like, and how tough that can be. It's

real. And it shows, you know, there's a commonality in all of this in terms of what we experience.

Another reason why I feel like Mission Story Slam, the work that you do and the work that I've done in terms of facilitating conversation and bringing people together is so important. We've got way more in common and alike than we do differently. And unfortunately we're living a day and time where we're obsessed with many of the differences.

Here we are recording this in week two of the Trump administration. There's a lot of difference obsessing right now.

Week, week two of the second Trump administration. So. Excuse me. Yes. Trump two. Trump two. 2. 0. I'm mindful to say that because we've been here before as well, right? Maybe not this iteration, unfortunately, but we'll get through it.

I'm glad. I will follow that roadmap for sure. Let's get through it. So you run up the fathering circle. Can you tell me a little bit about. Like what that organization is. And one of the things that I'm a little confused about is I went and looked at the website to prepare for this. And I'm sure this is true, but I'd never heard it.

It talked about poet, Eric Marsh being one of the founders. And it sounded a bit to me also reading through. That maybe the founding was more of an art project than group discussion. Like help me understand what it is and how it came about and how it evolved.

Yeah. So the fathering circle originally started off as Dada or something obscure like that, just vaguely father related.

Um, it was originally part of. an initiative through the Philadelphia Museum of Art called Philadelphia Assembled. And Philadelphia Assembled was basically this, this effort to bring together over 150 different artists from all over the city to focus on five specific areas of social justice, using art as a social justice change agent.

And so the lead artist was Jeanne Van Asselbeek, who is from the Netherlands. Sounds, sounds like it. I'm not going to butcher her name in an attempt at an accident, which I am prone to do. Okay. The fact that she was here in Philadelphia and the Philadelphia Assembled was really about looking at the future of Philadelphia.

under these five different focus areas. And for whatever reason, God bless her heart, I'm eternally grateful to her. She decided that fatherhood should be a subsection of one of those five areas. And at the time, my sister, Denise Valentine, who has since passed, was an editor on that project. And the lead artist Was a guy named Billy Yalowitz.

They were talking about fatherhood. My sister knew that I had done some work with some other fatherhood organizations in the city and recommended me to him. And so Billy and I got a chance to talk. Interestingly enough, we first. Got a chance to sit down the day after Trump's first day in office for his first term.

So that'll give you some sense in terms of timing. So

January 21, 2017 is what I'm guessing. Yes.

So we got a chance to sit down at a coffee shop and kind of commiserate and figure it out. What are we going to do? How are we going to get through this? And like I said, we did get through it, but he had already reached out to a filmmaker, Les Rivera.

And Les had made a short film, a mock horror film about his daughter's birth announcement, which was incredibly sweet and funny. And so, the three of us got together in Billy's kitchen, we started inviting dads, and I think they had had either one session, or I was invited to the first session, where dads just come and share their stories.

And what was interesting is, the goal was to interview dads, talk to them about their experiences, where did they learn to be a dad, what do they love about being a dad, trials, tribulations, and then go off and create some artwork.

Are these like video interviews, audio interviews?

They were videoed, but they were more in, they were in person roundtables sitting around a kitchen table talking.

Gotcha.

So you're archiving the discussions to be able to use it to inspire art.

Exactly. Exactly. But what I recognized and what we all recognized early on was that when the interview was over, None of the dads wanted to go home at night. We got a chance to sit there and commiserate and fellowship. And we were asking these men questions that most dads don't get a chance to talk about, or men, right?

Like, when's the last time somebody asked you, where did you learn to be a man?

I'm going to go with never.

Exactly. And so it forces you to think about that. And so these men really appreciated what we were doing and the conversations we were having. It didn't have the goal of necessarily changing the world or changing male socialization.

Um, at least not at that point. I think Billy wanted to do, you know, maybe a story, a movement piece, Les wanted to make a film and then, you know, it was going to be over. But again, you know, I had a background working with. A few fatherhood organizations, including Focus on Fathers, Daddy University, Frontline Dads, Father's Day Rally Committee.

Geez,

I had no idea there were so many to choose from.

Oh, Philadelphia actually has been a fertile ground for fatherhood programs going back to the 70s, late 70s, early 80s. There's a few researchers who have done some studies on that, and um

Are you saying that there's More of it been more available fatherhood programs in Philadelphia than your average large city.

Yes any Theories that you or others have come up with as to why we happen to be such a center for this kind of thought no

All right from what I've looked into it. I don't know now. I'm not saying we're the only or necessarily have the patent on fatherhood programs because Chicago has had a lot of fatherhood programs.

There's stuff that's been happening all over the country.

There are surprising things that this city can be called out for. And I just didn't know that having a preponderance of fatherhood programs was one of our, one of our skills. You know, cheesesteaks is what you hear about, not fatherhood programs.

It's all the same.

Yeah.

So you're working on art projects to talk about this, and you'd been involved with lots of other fatherhood programs. So how do How, what's the jump from, like, when did it stop becoming, stop being an art project and start becoming something else and help me understand what it is today?

Well, I want to say technically it hasn't stopped being an art related program. We use art therapy practices with the men and we also use art activities in terms of journaling. You mentioned poetry earlier. Any way that we can get the guys to start writing about their experiences or drawing or painting.

So the goal is to definitely get back to doing more artwork, but was, again, what was interesting is I was not a trained artist, uh, Billy and less were. So the goal was we started off in 2016 with the goal of having. An exhibition in 2017, we gathered these stories. We started creating art. We worked with a choreographer named Marion Ramirez.

Marion was got us together over a series of what we call play dates where dads brought their kids out. And she watched us play and then helped us choreograph like a movement piece with our children that we performed around the museum. Again, Les is a filmmaker, so you got a chance to record a lot of the information and a lot of the sessions.

I gotta ask, the movement piece, when you say performed it around the museum, like outdoors, indoors, in galleries, like where were you performing it?

Indoors throughout the Perlman Museum, through several of the galleries. So my partner, Les, who created a film called Introduction to the Fathering Circle, it's a 12 minute film that was screened in the auditorium in the Perlman.

Okay.

So we did a screening and discussion. The auditorium space was just like a huge play space. Like we had a huge table. Covered in craft paper and kids were coming and drawing pictures and making art related to dads and their fathers. Um, the reason why you see poet next to my name on the website was because I curated a two day poetry workshop and series where I brought together well known poets from across Philadelphia, um, both men and women to talk about or to perform pieces related to fatherhood.

Yeah, it's interesting. I think when I think of Philadelphia poets, I think of all women. I think of Sonia Sanchez. I think of Yolanda Wisher. I think of Trepita Mason. Who were the men? I need to know who were the men poets in Philly. I'm not hearing about.

Katie Morris was one. Katie Morris has been performing and teaching poetry for a few years.

There was another gentleman named Ambition, the poet. There's another guy, Nelson Ills Wills. Who is now part of the Philly Peace Park, North Philly Peace Park, Philadelphia Peace Park. Peace

Park is cool.

So that was dope. And, and again, it was an amazing, we had over 800 visitors across the two days.

Damn.

Um, so it was wild.

Yeah. That is cool. And again, remember this was part of a bigger effort, right? And so I think we hosted our fathering festival. Towards the tail end of a lot of the exhibits and the things that were happening all over the city related to Philadelphia assembled in terms of me being open with sharing my struggles, all of that stuff was happening prior to the festival, right?

So shutting down my business, the depression, all of that stuff. And so once we were done, I found myself just looking around trying to figure out, well, now what? And I, again, recognized that it was important to continue to work, but then decided to go off and do more work with other organizations. That's when I started working with Focus on Fathers, which is a program under PHMC.

I wanted to continue to experience what we were experiencing, which goes back to what you and I were talking about, about bringing people together and talking and building community.

So, all right, how does the fathering circle still work? Express itself. So you're saying you're still interested in doing some art, but yeah, what is it today?

Well, thank you for asking Eve because we just relaunched the fathering circle sessions Or should I say the peer support circles the last quarter of last year? We were hosting two different locations across the city and Starting next week as a matter of fact early February We're gonna be hosting circle sessions at the Dornsife Center on Drexel's campus They're going to be weekly sessions hosted at the Dornsife center, um, Monday evenings from six to seven 30.

And we do cycles of eight week sessions. So after every eight weeks, we're recruiting a new batch of dads. Um, which actually is going to be a challenging for me because I haven't let go of the first. Badger dads from 2016 2017. They're they're still very close. That's right. So that's what it that's what it looks like now But I'm also doing some workshops.

I've just recently Was accepted to offer a workshop at the New England fatherhood conference, which is happening in March

I'll be

going there to do that. And I just, um, was in conversations earlier today about hosting our very own fatherhood conference here in Philadelphia in June of 2025 coming up. So this June, this June,

I'm done with planning a conference, five months.

It's small. Cause you're nuts.

I've done it before. So

that's crazy

to

me. Conferences

are a big, they're a big lift. All right. We'll call it a summit or we'll figure out something smaller.

You'll be fine. You are a convener expert. I am. Worn out every time we get through a mission story slam, just throwing an event.

I love it. And so we're putting in a lot of work getting there and then it's a big night. And then I'm like, Ooh, need a nap.

Absolutely. Yeah, no, that's the, that's very real. It does drain you as rewarding as it is. I'm not one of those folks that's like bouncing off the walls. Like let's stay up all night.

No. I'm tired too.

So okay, the groups at Dornsife, like, help me understand what these are because it sounds more like support and less like art, like what it, I know you had a podcast that I think you're talking about restarting as well, right? The fathering circle podcast. Is that it?

Yes. So first of all, the work that we do, we always talk about the peer support circles for men and male caregivers.

And so I'm specific to say that because not every man that's taking care of a young person is taking care of a biological child. Right. You've got stepdads, you've got pop pops, you've got big brothers, you've got, you name it. And the reason why we've done that is because we recognize one, we don't want to just stick to gender male biological dads.

There are a lot of people who are caring for young people who identify as male and who need some support. And not only is it just about support, it's also about understanding how with this society we live in, how we as men are socialized to be men. And by the nature of that, be fathers oftentimes be harmful to women and children and other men.

Right. You talked about that a little bit,

I think, in your story, not in a portion that we played. So again, check out the full enchilada at the mission story slam, but I'm sorry

to

cut you off.

No, no. It's important because again, we were just talking about this new incoming presidential administration. And one of the things that's interesting is that a lot of the behavior that we see being put forth.

As examples of like leadership and examples of manliness and taking charge. Um, we also see how much harm that is causing and the harm that is doing. And so what we do with these peer support circles are not only just give dad's practical steps and efforts and information on how to be a better parent day to day, but it was also how to unpack.

the way we've been socialized or taught to be men and pick apart like what's good, what's not so good, what's working for you, what's not working for you. If you get a chance to check out our mini documentary, it's about 12 minutes long called the intro to the fathering circle. One of our dads, Kurt, grew up in a Hispanic household and talks about how he's raised with machismo and was taught you have multiple girlfriends and multiple women and you treat them really firm and make sure you put your foot down.

And in the documentary, he talks about, he says, well, if I'm doing everything. that I was told to do, why am I not getting the results that I was told that I want? And he said, at some point in time, it clicked. He said, Oh, I must not be doing this right. But he didn't have an example of how to do it right or how to change.

And he had to figure it out. And a lot of us do, right? A lot of us men, we fumble, we make mistakes. And sometimes we wind up harming the people who are closest to us before we ever get a chance to stop and think about, well, wait a minute. Well, If this is what I was told to do, why is it not getting the results?

And because nobody ever talks about one, the results that come from that kind of behavior, which is what we're seeing happening, play out on a national scale in our politics. But in addition, nobody ever takes the time to sit down and unpack what does that upbringing look like? So one of the first questions we ask men when they get together was, what was your boyhood like?

What was your childhood like? What was your home like? What was your relationship with your parents? If you both of them were in your life, what was your relationship with little girls? Like we can be best friends with a little girl, you know, growing up through elementary school. But at some point in time that off that will have a tendency to switch.

So we just really get men to stop and examine that. And the reason why this is important. One of the things I love about it. Why it is so effective with fathers specifically is that we live in a society where men can get old without ever growing up, right? Oh, yeah. That's, yes. We can do what we want to do.

We can go about life. We don't have to think about another human being or what it means to take care of them or sacrifice or any of that. And that's happening more and more. in society now, with this separation of the breakdown of family structure, to break down a social structure, the epidemic of male isolation.

All of that is actually leading us further from our true selves. And so we help men really think about that and examine it and then go back home and like practice it. And then you get to come back the next week and say, No, this worked. This didn't work. This part is really hard or this part really worked out good.

And that's really what it's about. And the art piece, where the art comes in, is, you know, we really are just working on introducing art as a form of self expression to be able to then articulate or express those feelings that may be hard to put in words.

That's it. That's

it.

Yeah, that's it. That's all.

That's all we're doing. A little something. On an eight week journey like that, do you have any end goal in mind that you're hoping that the participants are going to reach at the end of it, or is it more meeting people where they are?

Glad you asked that. It's actually, we help each participant identify three goals for themselves.

So one goal is, what do they want to achieve? Um, whether it relates to their parenting or their personal life or some area in their life they want to improve. The second goal is their relationship with their children. So what does that goal look like? For some, it's reconnection. For some, it's a deepening of a connection.

For some, it's just more of, you know, the good stuff. And then the third goal is a goal related to their parenting partner. And what does that look like? Whether you're in a relationship with your parenting partner or parenting separately, any way that that relationship could improve is a third goal that we worked with them on.

Cool. While you're explaining what you're doing, I just, I'm very lucky to have some real strong women in my life. And I also really like to hang out with strong women, but yeah, my, my wife, Robin, there's not a moment where she will pass up an opportunity to. Y'all about smashing the patriarchy. So I'm just like, Hey, there you go.

Let's see what we could do. Smash it from the inside. That's a good way to go.

There you go.

I know that's not the goal that you're laying out, but moving

the needle wouldn't suck. But it's part, but that is part of it. That is part of it. And if I didn't express that, there is some language in our mission statement and vision statements around, you know, for the liberation of women and children.

Okay. Is Fathering Circle at this point its own non profit or is it still more just like a volunteer community thing that you're doing? How do you have that working out?

No, Fathering Circle received our 501c3 status in January of 2021. So I figured I would do something during the pandemic and that was part of what I did.

And yeah, we've been a non profit 501c3. Tax exempt organization ever since then took a little bit of a hiatus. And as I said, late in the year, last year, reinvigorated the programming. A big reason was for myself because I knew how therapeutic it could be. For others. And I needed it. And so what's that saying?

I think it was a James Baldwin quote about there wasn't a club that existed that would accept me. So I created my own, that sort of thing.

No one else is going to see this in a podcast, but you've got a photo of James Baldwin right over your shoulder there. That's also a variant on the person that's on the cover of my phone, which is Groucho Marx, which he says, I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member.

So,

you know, they were contemporary. They feeding off each other.

You're a Baldwin guy. I'm a Groucho guy. It says a lot. So where would someone go to find out more about the fathering circle?

Well, you can actually look up the fathering circle on all social media platforms, the fathering as a verb, I N G.

Fathering Circle. We're on Instagram, we're on Facebook, the podcast, which I've only done a few episodes, is available, I'm hoping to relaunch that again soon, or you can go to the website, thefatheringcircle. org.

I think you're volunteering in this, right? They don't, I'm gathering that It's not a fundraising machine, or doesn't need to be a fundraising machine.

Everybody needs a fundraising machine. If I knew where to get a fundraising machine, you bet I'd have three of them. It itself is not a fundraising machine, because I'm not a fundraising machine. But if one would so want to donate To the fathering circle, you could absolutely do that. We have donate buttons that are also on our website and our social media, specifically our Facebook page, and we also have a Facebook group as well.

We just recently received recipients. of a grant from the city. Congratulations. I hope to cover some of the costs for being able to make it help. But we're absolutely looking for more support as well as sponsors for the father conference that we're looking to do in June. I thought it was a summit now. I called it a conference.

You had anxiety about the word conference. So I'm talking it down off the ledge. Okay,

it's yours. I have no say in it. It doesn't matter.

A

fathering,

a fatherhood soiree, how

about that? Oh, I like it. There you go. Let's get all French with it. Is there anywhere else, uh, or anything else that you would want to be able to share with us?

Because I know sometimes you're involved in other places that I'm not even thinking about.

Well, I would just say anyone who's looking to contact me related to the fathering circle, you can email me at info at the fathering circle dot org. And you're pretty active on LinkedIn as well, right? I'm very active on LinkedIn.

Yes.

Well, listen, Eric, I'm sure we will find ourselves hopefully in the not so distant future with a drink in front of us and a conversation happening. But I really am grateful for your taking the time to come on to the podcast and share So much personal stuff and I will just say keep smashing the patriarchy my friend.

Yes, sir. Thank you very much Thanks, Eric.

So appreciative to Eric for taking so much time here in a busy first week of a brand new job He is so dedicated to community projects like the Fathering Circle, Mission Story Slam, and a whole bunch of other ones. And a mutual friend of ours who's also a missionary for Mission Story Slam, Elise Drake, recently gave me a wonderful new word.

And I think it applies to Eric. He is a great communitarian. So, thanks to Eric Marsh for being a communitarian, for doing the work, and for participating in our podcast. And to our fine listening audience, just your connection to the Mission Story Slam community, I would bet you probably all qualify as communitarians as well.

Bringing together like minded people is exactly why we're working so hard to build the Mission Story Slam podcast and events and community, building a community that is for all of us that are doing the hard work of doing good. So do me a favor, let's all reach out to someone in our circle and invite them to the next Story Slam on June 10th at National Mechanics.

There will be bonus points if you can convince them to put their name in the can of destiny to tell a story on the theme, The Time Is Now. You can direct those new people to our website, missionstorieslam. org. You can have them follow us on LinkedIn or Instagram or even Facebook. And you can keep listening to the Mission Story Slam podcast, which is produced by our own Dave Winston and edited by James Robinson.

The podcast is produced and brought to you by PWP video. We are video with a mission. You can find us at pwpvideo. com. So until our next episode, I shall remain Michael Schweizheimer. And I do look forward to sharing the next story behind the story with you soon.